Posts from the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Now What Do We Do?

This is no time to give up. In fact, if I ever feel so depressed that I just want to give up, I will take out the old pistol, chamber a round, slowly cock it, and then blow some other motherfuckers brains out, because that will surely cheer me up!

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Coming soon: more recipes, and stuff

Sorry, but I’m kinda in-between computers right now. Will post something soon.

I hate these things.

Walken Reportedly Signs-on to Pulp Fiction Re-Make

Christopher Walken Says “Yes!” to Pulp Fiction II

APF – June 19, 2012

From correspondent Editor in Chief,  Hog Whitman

In one of the most eagerly awaited sequels of all time, Christopher Walken has reportedly signed for the lead in Pulp II, according to inside sources who couldn’t be named because they were not authorized to speak to the press.

Sources close to the actor said that he is anxious to expand on his previous role as the guy who had a watch stuck up his ass in Viet Nam, citing Walken’s concerns that a crucial part of his famous scene was edited, and that therefore it didn’t show his true ‘range’ as a thesbian.

Other veterans of the iconic film, such as Bruce Willis, John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson and Ving Rhames are reportedly in negotiations to reprise their own famous roles, with the noted exception of  Uma Thurman, who shot her wad on the ridiculous Kill Bill  films, and couldn’t get arrested in Hollywood unless it was for a  Barney the Dinosaur episode.

Shooting is scheduled to begin on July 1st at an undisclosed location on the NE corner of 12th & Van Nuys in downtown Pacoima, CA, 91331 starting at approximately 3:00AM, and then, maybe, a few hours later, somebody might even start filming a movie there, according to sources who couldn’t be named because they were, well, not authorized to speak to the press. (ed. note: Pacoima’s ‘claim to fame’ seems to be that they once went 46 days without a drive-by shooting)

Writer/Director Quentin Tarantino says he is, “ready to get going”, according to sources at the Betty Ford Clinic, but they weren’t authorized to speak to the press either.

*UPDATE* According to sources, who are not authorized to speak to the press, you can download the entire Hog Whitman CD Not Sold In Stores at CDBaby for only $1 dollar, or pay even more at iTunes, Rhapsody, Amazon, and a host of others who are not authorized to speak to the press.

P.S. SAY “WHUT?” ONE MORE TIME, MOTHERF**KER!!!

End Racial Profiling Now!

It’s a terribly unfair practice, even if they’re guilty as hell. It needs to end now!

Swiss woman dies after attempting to live on sunlight; Woman gave up food and water on spiritual journey

Awwwwwww. All together now, Awwwwwww.

TERRIFYING NEW TREND: GROWN MEN WHO DIG ‘MY LITTLE PONY’

It was just a matter of time. Forty years of stuffing little boys full of drugs and teaching them to be little girls had to take its toll. Thank you, Jimmy Carter. Thank you, Dept. of Education (nonexistent before Jimmy Carter), and thank you, teachers unions. Great job.

Here’s the whole article, if you can stomach it. I think I gotta go out and kill a commie for Christ, stomp a salamander for Satan, or something.

Official White House Pfotograph

Well, at least it started as ‘Official’ till some scurvy dog defiled it!

Damned Infidels!