Posts from the ‘Stupid Hollywood’ Category

Walken Reportedly Signs-on to Pulp Fiction Re-Make

Christopher Walken Says “Yes!” to Pulp Fiction II

APF – June 19, 2012

From correspondent Editor in Chief,  Hog Whitman

In one of the most eagerly awaited sequels of all time, Christopher Walken has reportedly signed for the lead in Pulp II, according to inside sources who couldn’t be named because they were not authorized to speak to the press.

Sources close to the actor said that he is anxious to expand on his previous role as the guy who had a watch stuck up his ass in Viet Nam, citing Walken’s concerns that a crucial part of his famous scene was edited, and that therefore it didn’t show his true ‘range’ as a thesbian.

Other veterans of the iconic film, such as Bruce Willis, John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson and Ving Rhames are reportedly in negotiations to reprise their own famous roles, with the noted exception of  Uma Thurman, who shot her wad on the ridiculous Kill Bill  films, and couldn’t get arrested in Hollywood unless it was for a  Barney the Dinosaur episode.

Shooting is scheduled to begin on July 1st at an undisclosed location on the NE corner of 12th & Van Nuys in downtown Pacoima, CA, 91331 starting at approximately 3:00AM, and then, maybe, a few hours later, somebody might even start filming a movie there, according to sources who couldn’t be named because they were, well, not authorized to speak to the press. (ed. note: Pacoima’s ‘claim to fame’ seems to be that they once went 46 days without a drive-by shooting)

Writer/Director Quentin Tarantino says he is, “ready to get going”, according to sources at the Betty Ford Clinic, but they weren’t authorized to speak to the press either.

*UPDATE* According to sources, who are not authorized to speak to the press, you can download the entire Hog Whitman CD Not Sold In Stores at CDBaby for only $1 dollar, or pay even more at iTunes, Rhapsody, Amazon, and a host of others who are not authorized to speak to the press.

P.S. SAY “WHUT?” ONE MORE TIME, MOTHERF**KER!!!

this is how a master does it…

I urge you to take the six minutes or so to watch this roast of Dean Martin. It’s not the whole roast, just the intro by MC Don Rickles, a true master of his trade. Also, it’s amazing to see this just for the incredible collection of stars in attendance, and even a couple of Senators!

See what I mean? Now just for contrast, here’s some select bits of Ricky Gervais (who?) from the Golden Globes the other night. I’ll admit he had a couple of zingers in there, but the rest was pretty stale and mean-spirited. I’d say he has a long ways to go before he joins the Masters…

Not too bad, kid, but keep working on it.

They also screwed-up…

It’s funny how we (or me, anyway) idolize the past as if it were perfect. It’s actually a relief to know that people are people no matter what the era. Here’s some interesting bloopers from the ‘good old days’.

This is your brain on drugs…

I know he’s trying to make fun of himself a little here, but it’s no use. Gary Busey is a walking, talking substance abuse poster. This clip is really mild compared to some of the stuff I’ve seen. Do a youtube search for him if you dare.

Must be an “in” joke…

I think we saw (heh) the first one of these movies several years ago. Not impressed enough to watch anymore, but the spoofs are usually pretty good.

Pretty good impression

The voice isn’t right, but everything else is. I’ve never seen or heard of this guy, but he nails this one.

This is your movie on drugs…

This is really pretty sad, considering how she ended-up, but as an example of what really happens from drug abuse, this puts the eggs-in-the-frying-pan analogy to shame.