Posts from the ‘just plain stupid’ Category

Happy 4th of July!

Due to the Communist/ Capitalist/ anarchist (with a small “a”) /money-grubbing Christian-vegan (with a small “v”), Dope-smoking Hollywood Slut-whores™ and 1% Rat Bastards at wordpress.com, I can no longer post videos here unless I pay them $70. Well, guess what? I don’t have $70! 

So here’s a link instead. I hope you will click on it. It should bring out the American in you, if you’ve got any left. It might also make you laugh till your face falls off.

Happy 4th,

Hog Whitman

P.S. Did I leave anybody out?

P.P.S. You can always contribute to The Hog Whitman Memorial Booze for Floozies Fund at PayPal, and help wipe-out (so to speak) this plague of Hollywood Dope-smoking Slut-Whores™ once and for all! Or just git yerself a purty nifty CD download for only $1 dollar, all at the same time. (i’ll make this all light-up in an other minute,  hour,  day or so… whatever  HW)

P.P.P.S  And if anybody feels like financing my new, cheesy B-movie; Dope-Smoking Hollywood Slut-Whores From Hell!™, feel free to leave a comment and I’ll get back to ya (without publishing your email addy).  I have the script almost written. Hell, it writes itself!

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Thank you Jimmy Carter, DOE, NEA, NOW, et al… Great Job!

Jimmy Carter, his Department of Education,  the National Education Association, and even the National Organization Of Women should be pretty proud of themselves.  This is what they have wrought…

The Elephant on Mars?

I guess if you stare at something/anything long enough,  you can see whatever you want. That’s what our highly-paid boyz at NASA do. Makes you feel kinda warm and fuzzy knowing that your taxes are going for something useful, huh?

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BREAKING NEWS… On another part of the planet, NASA scientists, with nothing better to do, found a formation which appears to resemble a smiling penis and immediately dubbed it the Martian Di*khead. The ‘scientists’ explained the shortness of the mysterious penis by noting that it was winter on Mars and therefore, very cold outside.

NASA directors have vowed to seek further funding for future finds.

Penis.

What would the world do without Yahoo Answers?

Ah yes, Them Internets™. A veritable world of wisdom. Still: one can’t help but wonder if ‘Harry’ isn’t really Ted Nugent’s screen name. You’ll get it on the way home…

sh*t: it’s what for dinner!

Why do they do stuff like this? It’s totally unnecessary. We are not running out of food.

And another thing: Where in the hell do they find people to taste-test this sh*t? Oh wait, they’re in Japan? Nevermind.

Why yes, I think I will have another one…

I admit this is kinda cute, but it’s also really stupid. And sad. At his age, this kid should be trying to impress an actual girl instead of his drinking buddies.

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Oh, and I’m pretty sure Jesus was a better carpenter too.

pardon me while I get emotional…

Sniff… I know exactly how she feels… sob.