Kim Jong Un – Dead

Twitter, Weibo Spread Rumors of North Korean Leader Kim Jong-un’s Assassination

Published: February 10, 2012 @ 9:56 am
By Lucas Shaw
Did social media just prematurely kill off the leader of North Korea?

Rumors that Kim Jong-un, the country’s supreme leader, has been assassinated just months after he took power originated on Chinese microblogging service Weibo and have now spread all over Twitter.

Others are reporting that Jong-un, believed to be 28 years old, may be on the run rather than dead, but both reports claim that some kind of coup is taking place.

One person on Weibo wrote (loose translation): “north korea’s biggest leader kim jung un, this morning in beijing time 2:45 am, had his residence broken into and was assassinated by unidentified people, who were shot dead by his bodyguards in korea’s embassy in beijing, vehicles are rapidly increasing in number, and have surpassed 30 of them, this sort of battle formation hasn’t been seen in over two years. please verify this.”




It was breezy in Beijing that night… the kind of breeze that bites at you like a semi-sedated Shar Pei. Not really painful, but it just gets on your nerves.

I knew something was up when “vehicles are rapidly increasing in number, and have surpassed 30 of them, this sort of battle formation hasn’t been seen in over two years”, came crackling over my Twitter feed. The Reds still hadn’t figured out how to block my signal, yet.

I’d gotten into a little trouble back in L.A.  — something about skipping on a bill for rehab — so I decided to cool my jets over here for a while. Besides, everybody knows that rehab is for quitters.

It’s not easy finding heavily processed food over here in CommieLand™, so I was gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein at Lee Ho Fooks instead. Unfortunately for me, he was fresh out, so he pointed me across the alley to Hung Far Lows for some more traditional fare. I had a bad feeling about this…

Hung was a strange bird, even for Beijing. The son of a Chinese stripper and a black American P.O.W. from the Korean war, he didn’t talk much about himself. I asked him once how he got the name Hung Far Low, but he wouldn’t say. He offered to show me, but I took a pass.

All I wanted was a couple of fish heads and a bowl of rice… and maybe some hot sauce.

As it turned out, I didn’t have to wait for long…

*Update* So is the little co*ksucker dead yet, or what? I have no idea. I’m still not privvy to all the inner-workings of the ChiComs. I’ve got a couple of back-room broads working on it, and I’ve even tossed-in a Tibetan twink for good measure. I’ll let ya know as soon as I know. I suspect they’ve taken him out old-school Soviet style, i.e. In about 4-6 weeks it will be announced that he died of a ‘cold’. It’ll probably go something like this: “Kim Jong ill someting”. He dead now.