Not actually till Friday, but I’m so excited about it I wanted to start early. Aren’t you glad that you have people like this looking out for you? Of course you are! Now go climb (somebody else’s) fruit trees, barefoot, and get the vital “life-force energy” that ( presumably) comes from stealing the fruits (literally) of somebody else’s labor!


And what would Earth Day be like without the mother of all brain scientists telling us how we should eat free food from vegetable trees? Free everything! Yay!